Contempt for Others - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Narcissists view those who pose a threat to their fragile egos with harsh and dismissive words and gestures. These signs of contempt serve the dual purpose of active ignorance to keep the potential threat from countering the narcissist’s inner misbeliefs and to ensure that the narcissist’s potential or current sources of supply equally dismiss the potential threat.

Testing someone who you suspect of narcissism: Ask the suspected narcissist about someone who likely disagrees with the narcissist’s view. Typically, this will result in a rant tearing down that individual’s character and intention. However, if the narcissist doesn’t know you all that well, the reaction may be more muted, but at best, it will consist of backhanded compliments and carefully worded disdain for the other person.

Examples:

Whenever Jacob brings up their mother, his brother scoffs and talks about the time she wouldn’t bail him out of prison the fifth time she had the chance and how he knew then what a terrible person she was when she was alive.
Roger always begins by rolling his eyes when Rita comes up in conversation after she got the promotion ahead of him and went on to achieve partner in the firm.
Explaining “the truth” about the narcissist’s rival for all to hear.

Advice: Most people choose kindness and empathy with others as a default position. Patterns of a go-to reaction of contempt for others is a strong sign of narcissism and, thus, the need to avoid that person. Getting close to someone with contempt in their heart will inevitably become contempt for you.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

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