Excessive Compliments - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Given their lack of moral reasoning and propensity to serve their needs, narcissists use others without restraint. The narcissist will override their tendency to criticize and switch to excessive complimenting when they believe doing so will motivate an individual to serve the narcissist’s needs. This is especially likely when in the process of forming a new relationship. Once the narcissist has established that an individual will serve their needs without excessive complimenting, the effort will not occur. See Love Bombing for more information.

Testing someone who you suspect of narcissism: If a suspected narcissist seems to be pressuring you into serving a need, express doubts about your ability to achieve the desired outcome. If a slew of compliments incommensurate with what the person could know about you ensues, this is evidence of narcissism.

Examples:

“You’re my ideal mate,” Petra said on her first meetup with Paco.
“You give off this energy of having what it takes to face this challenge. I know we just met, but I believe in you.”
“It’s clear that you have unlocked potential inside. I was in utter awe of you when you walked through that door.”

Advice: Beware of those complimenting you beyond what they could know about you (a sign of love bombing). It’s always nice to hear compliments, but it can be addictive, and once the narcissist gets what they want from you, you may crave more but find it harder and harder to achieve. Best to avoid getting into a relationship with someone who does this immediately.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Red Flags