Concept: Narcissists find it challenging to take responsibility for problems or mistakes in their lives and therefore cast blame onto anyone their narratives could tag with responsibility. In truth, narcissists are usually responsible for negative aspects of their lives. For one, their defensiveness keeps them from learning lessons from experiences or feedback. After all, if it’s always someone else fault, then the narcissist can expect different results after taking the same actions. Also, narcissistic techniques are almost always destructive to relationships. They may gain short-term victories, but long-term benefits are hard to achieve when used pawns abandon them, and they must spend their time creating new pawns. To deny the reality that would increase their inner shame, narcissists tend to assign responsibility to everyone involved in a negative outcome except themselves.
Testing someone who you suspect of narcissism: Suggest that the suspected narcissist could have avoided a negative consequence if they had taken another course of action. Narcissists will go from zero to outrage in moments.
Examples:
Advice: Beware those who assume that everyone else is bad relative to them. If you get involved with someone like that, you will be on the naughty list sooner or later.
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