Harshness - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Narcissists use extremely negative language to describe others. We are all susceptible to describing someone who has hurt us in negative terms and can get harsh, but narcissists adopt extreme criticism due to the most minor perceived slights. It doesn’t seem to satisfy a narcissist to describe a person who refused to serve their needs as “hesitant” or “strong-willed.” Instead, they become the stupidest, nastiest #$%^& the narcissist has ever met. Expect narcissists to default to inappropriate and devastating rhetoric to heal their wounded egos.

Testing someone who you suspect of narcissism: If you hear someone you suspect of narcissism using over-the-top rhetoric, push back a little when you’re alone with this person by saying something to the effect of, “She’s not really that bad. Is she?” We can all get carried away when the spotlight is on us, but a non-narcissist will likely back down when the conversation goes private. Narcissists will stick to their original view on almost anything (i.e., they hate admitting that they’re wrong).

Examples:

“Ted is the dumbest person in the world. He shouldn’t be permitted to live.”
“Jan only did that because she’s a hateful, good-for-nothing low Life.”
“When are you going to stop being a selfish jerk, only thinking of Yourself?”

Advice: Watch out for those who ramp up rhetoric over choosing moderation. This person has few moral boundaries or the ability to understand others.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Red Flags