Interrupting

Concept: During a discussion, partners in a healthy relationship allow some turn-taking out of respect for reaching an agreement on a shared goal. Narcissists wish to dominate conversations and steer them to fill their needs. When a mentally healthy partner has a chance of making a solid counterpoint, the narcissist will interrupt by talking over the partner or otherwise stop them from speaking.

How this leads to greater control over a victim: Interrupting disrupts the flow of conversation. What narcissists say when interrupting creates a misdirection that pushes the argument away from a course of action that serves the victim’s goal and increases the chances that it will serve only the narcissist’s needs. Successful repeated interrupting creates frustration and stress on the victim and an increasing likelihood that the victim will stop trying and allow quicker yielding in the future.

Examples:

  1. A presidential candidate takes advantage of a weak debate moderator and repeatedly interrupts his opponent’s time.
  2. A senior board member keeps talking over a junior board member whenever he begins speaking, so his usual good ideas and not expressed, and he fails to get credit for greater profit margins.
  3. A father brings up other topics whenever his daughter asks him to attend her next soccer match.

Advice: Warn someone who has interrupted you in the middle of a point that you’ll leave with the next interruption, then walk away from the conversation if it happens again.

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