Concept: Narcissists constantly compare themselves to others to battle their inner sense of inferiority. As such, narcissists are prone to falling into imagined (or real) competitions with others to prove their superiority. They’ll do what it takes to win the competitions, but when they lose, they refuse to take accountability for the loss.

How this increases a narcissist’s insecurities: Losing counteracts the narratives narcissists create to claim their superiority, damaging their defenses against their inner shame.

Examples:

1. A plaintiff blames the judge who rules against his frivolous lawsuit.
2. A friend says you cheated to win a game without evidence.
3. A college student records all the final grades posted on the professor’s door to determine how good he compares to his fellow students.

Advice: Avoid competition with narcissists whenever possible. If you win, they may start a smear campaign to defame you. If you lose, you won’t achieve your goal, and they’ll try to embarrass you, too, because, for them, the stakes are not just the reward but the ability to prove their greater worth.

Home | Rights Theory | Love | Toxic Personalities | Fiction | Charlton’s Ground | About Me

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Red Flags | Motivations | Techniques | Inabilities | Stages | Enabling | Defenses Against

Fears

Abandonment | Accountability | Discovery | Dismissal | Exposure | Happiness of Others | Intimacy | Loneliness | Vulnerability