Concept: As nouns, love and empathy are arguably the same term. Philosophers have debated the nature of love for centuries with no consensus in sight. Love is typically defined by its properties, including affection, devotion, and intimate connection. Empathy is much easier to define as the ability to feel what someone else feels to such an extent that the feeling duplicates itself in the empath. A reciprocal empathetic and loving connection shares fundamental properties, including mutual affection (i.e., desiring benefits for the other), devotion (i.e., a dedicated relationship that is strong enough to feel the other’s emotions), and intimacy (i.e., emotions are shared). Even if someone disagrees that the two terms align, a narcissistic insistence on transactional gain for any act that benefits another underlines a breakdown of any connection with narcissists between themselves and others, which directly defies love and empathy.
How this hurts the narcissist: Anyone who has experienced love knows the wonder and delight involved in the experience. It may not end well or be reciprocated and hurt, but being in the moment with love is pure euphoria. Living a life without ever having the experience seems empty and shallow in comparison.
Examples:
Advice: Expect that narcissists in your life will have more important things to do than comfort or help you when you go through bad times. Seeing this may be the shock you need to work to dislodge yourself from the relationship to the greatest extent possible. Realize that you deserve the love you give, and you can seek it out in alternate relationships.
Home | Rights Theory | Love | Toxic Personalities | Fiction | Charlton’s Ground | About Me
Red Flags | Motivations | Fears | Techniques | Stages | Enabling | Defenses Against
Caring for Others | Emotional Maturity | Happiness | Honesty | Keeping Commitments | Logical Reasoning | Moderation | Moral Reasoning | Prioritizing Others | Promise Keeping | Self-Reflection