Lying - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: At its core, narcissism is a war with reality. To keep internal shame at bay, narcissists gain great skills in denying reality with narratives that counter their self-loathing. Although a standard framing for narcissism is a disorder that leads to an inability to distinguish morally right and wrong behavior, narcissists are aware of the difference between right and wrong. When they choose ethically wrong behavior, this increases the evidence of their malevolence and justifies their internal shame, only increasing their need to war with reality. Lying is any communication that denies reality, the greater the narcissistic tendencies, the greater the chance of lying.

How this leads to greater control over a victim: When lies are successful, others align with the denial of reality and thus increase the odds a victim will validate a narcissist’s narrative and serve the narcissist’s needs.

Examples:

A police officer tells one person in custody that the friend already confessed but that they are offering a chance at a reduced sentence for a similar confession.
“I’ve never lied, and I expect you to always tell me the truth.”
“Jenna? You’re kidding, right? I know you say you saw us, but I’m not attracted to her, so I’m not sure what you saw, but it wasn’t that.”

Advice: Be skeptical when someone who has demonstrated narcissistic tendencies informs you of anything. Only commit to the position if you have confirmation from sources not aligned with the narcissist.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Techniques