Concept: Victims of narcissists often hear a shaming, nagging voice in their heads, even when the narcissists in their lives are not around. Mind eviction is giving those voices (and there’s likely more than one, especially one or more caregivers from childhood) no heed. Ignoring them long enough banishes them altogether.

How this helps, and the opposite hurts: Evicting narcissist voices is the antidote to gaslighting. After long, drawn-out periods of narcissists attempting mind control, it eventually works to the point where current or former victims can still hear the voice even when alone. Not giving an eviction notice to the voices allows the dependence to continue, albeit without a face attached. Lingering dependence often results in successful Hoovering.

Examples:

1. “No, it wasn’t bad to pass a flower shop and not buy my ex the flowers she likes best. I’ve got to stop thinking that.”
2. “My memory may not be perfect, but I know she abused me, and I’m not going to let her words affect me anymore.”
3. “Petra, it’s really tough. I hear Jim’s voice berating me all the time, but I found that playing music stops it, so I do that whenever it starts up again.”

Advice: Remind yourself that any inner voice performing the same techniques narcissists used against you is not your voice but that of an unstable, emotionally immature person. Stop listening to it so your mind can return to being you, a reasonable person whose kind heart and empathy made you a target in the first place.

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