Moral Reasoning - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Moral reasoning is the thought process that classifies actions as right or wrong. Narcissists generally know what others consider to be right or wrong action. However, they routinely engage in belief-based reasoning (i.e., using a belief to decide on a conclusion, then creating justifications to lead to that conclusion, whether those steps are logically consistent or not). Narcissists use belief-based reasoning for morals by classifying others’ actions as morally wrong and their own actions as morally right. The narratives outlining their justifications may seem convincing, but reasoning that does not begin with flexibility of conclusion is typically flawed.

How this hurts the narcissist: The lack of moral reasoning becomes apparent as people inherently know that nobody is perfect. To have anyone always be on the side of moral rightness and everyone they cross be morally wrong is impossible. Initial doubts become a generalized skepticism that expands into dissolution of the relationship or at least dismissing what the narcissist says in the future.

Examples:

“So, I slept with her?” said her husband. “Now we’re even because you made me feel like garbage when you said that actor in that movie was hot. I went a whole week picturing you two having sex. It was pure torture.”
Every time Jane explains how a past relationship ended, her partner always committed the misdeeds.
“I’m 100% honest. I wish everyone was like me. You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve been lied to in my life.”

Advice: When you catch a narcissist doing this, ignore it. With no ability to apply sound moral reasoning against self or for others, you will only get more of the same faulty moral reasoning. Best to skip it and reduce your trust in the information the narcissist conveys.

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