Projection - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: The founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, first conceptualized psychological projection from observations of his clients. Narcissists are generally aware of their destructive qualities and unethical behavior, which causes increased internal shame. A technique to form compelling narratives to counter internal shame is to ascribe negative qualities and intentions that narcissists know exist in their relationships and shift the blame from themselves to significant people in their lives.

How this leads to greater control over a victim:

Projection is a form of gaslighting (i.e., attempting to get another to question reality or their grasp of it) because narcissists know they are committing the bad behavior and wish to manipulate their victims into taking accountability. When successful, projection makes a victim take responsibility for what shames the narcissist, who can then use this as evidence of their superiority and shame the victim into future compliance with their wishes.

Examples:

A husband accuses his wife of cheating on him after he comes home from his lover’s apartment.
A man shames his empathetic girlfriend for not caring about his feelings.
A boss reprimands the subordinate who wrote a presentation for losing a client after she made several gaffes while giving it.

Advice: Always trust your mind. If someone criticizes you in a way that doesn’t match reality, don’t search for ways to make their critique seem true, but instead determine if it’s a confession or admission from that person.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Techniques