Silent Treatment\ - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Narcissists often refuse to speak with people they wish to manipulate. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words, which is true for this technique. The silent treatment communicates to the abuse victim a type of self-shaming because the victim may think not speaking to someone for a prolonged time is only reserved for the most wretched people.

How this leads to greater control over a victim: The silent treatment causes so much distress that the victim will often capitulate with admissions of guilt and apologies that fill the narcissist’s supply needs and reinforce the narratives of their superiority. To avoid the silent treatment in the future, the victim will likely comply with the narcissist’s demands more quickly.

Examples:

A father refuses to speak to his daughter because she didn’t say thank you right away when taking the school lunch he made for her.
A man ghosts his significant other when she doesn’t reply to his text until five minutes after he sends it.
A grandmother drives her grandson in silence after picking him up from a band concert because he didn’t work hard enough to get a solo.

Advice: If someone is giving you the silent treatment, enjoy it secure in the knowledge that the person is at least not abusing you. Eventually, a narcissist will either dissolve a narcissistic relationship on their own by carrying the silent treatment on permanently or will talk to you again on their own without your capitulation. Either way, you’ll come out of the silent treatment stronger.

Narcissism Encyclopedia

Techniques