Targeting Empaths - Dan Cassenti, Novelist

Concept: Narcissists have a keen understanding of others based on limited data. This comes from a commitment to self-interest and attempting to create victims to serve narcissistic supply. People who exhibit extreme empathy, kindness, willingness to serve, and reduced ability to serve self-interest (i.e., empaths) make them the most likely victim of narcissists. Empaths are trusting, accept narratives, and assume the best of people. Although these qualities speak well of an empath’s character, they make empaths the most successful targets of narcissists.

How this leads to greater control over a victim: Choosing empaths is the easiest and quickest path to creating a source of narcissistic supply. Once under the narcissist’s spell, the empath will also have the most difficulty leaving the relationship.

Examples:

A man accelerates his plans for a relationship pressure campaign when a woman he met on a dating app lets him choose the location and activities of their meetup.
A mother constantly pressures her daughter into putting others first, then uses this attitude to manipulate her daughter into serving her needs.
Richie finds that his co-worker is always putting the work first. Richie waits until the last minute to finish a report and then asks the co-worker to finish it for him to avoid adverse consequences for their division.

Advice: If you think you’re in a narcissistic relationship and don’t want to abandon the narcissist because of how it might make them feel or that you’d likely create another victim if you leave that position, consult with a loved one who you trust for advice. Your empathic qualities are virtuous, and you may need a loved one to clarify that you would please them to leave the relationship. This could be the solvent you need to unglue yourself if you can’t do it for your own needs.

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