Concept: Narcissists’ insecurities make every competition (whether real or in their minds only) into a battle that requires winning. When a narcissist loses, he cannot attribute the loss to himself, but the attribution goes to others or circumstances beyond the narcissist’s control. The tendency, however, is to attribute negative outcomes to others, as this allows the narcissist to construct a false narrative about their superiority.

Testing someone who you suspect of narcissism: Ask the suspected narcissist what happened when they failed to achieve an objective. If you hear no personal accountability, you have evidence of narcissism.

Examples:

1. “I would have won that election, except for all the voter fraud.”
2. “Pat stole that promotion from me by sleeping with my boss.”
3. “He screwed me over and only out of spite.”

Advice: Most of us have times when we were victimized by another (most likely by a narcissist or other toxic person), but we usually find some trace of personal responsibility. When it seems that it’s always someone else’s fault, across multiple people and situations, the so-called victim is likely a narcissist and best avoided.

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Narcissism Encyclopedia

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